#12: Using Your Knife

Manner #12:  Knife Knowledge

Attention Getter:  By now my kids know that Monday night = new manner so I often get the question, "What manner are we going to learn tonight?"  I like to keep them guessing and this week was no exception.  So my helpful sister and I came up with this riddle:

Can you guess what I am?
I don't start like I sound.
Use me with butter and fruit,
On the right I can be found.

Now let's cut to the chase,
Cuz' you're on the edge of your seat.
I should never touch your mouth,
but I will cut your meat.

What am I? ....... A Knife!

(My kids weren't so sharp. I had to read it a few times before they got it.) We had talked about how to use our fork, so now it was time to talk about how to use our knife correctly. 

Manner: 1. You will find the knife on the right of your plate with the blade facing the plate (review).
2. You can use a knife to cut sandwiches  in half or to butter your bread.  You use a knife and a fork together to cut meat and fruit.
3. When cutting, hold the knife in your right hand like it is an extension of your index finger.  It should be parallel with the plate.
4. When not in use, put your knife on the top of your plate with the blade facing inward.
5. Don't lick your knife or eat off of it.
6. Don't wave it around while you are talking.
7. If eating the European way, you would use your knife to put the food on the back of your fork.

Why:  Most of the manner rules around the knife have to do with safety.  That is why the blade is always pointed in.  That's why you don't make gestures with it.  It could slip out or you could poke someone.   And safety is why you don't eat off of it. 

Practice:  I served different foods throughout the week where a knife would be needed so my kids had ample practice with this utensil.  We practiced cutting meat with pork loin and yogurt chicken. I didn't do tougher meats, that might require a steak knife, because that will be another post another day.  We buttered rolls and baked potatoes, and we cut our sandwiches in half.

Follow-Up: We played "The Knife Game/Candy Bar Game" (see directions below.) We cut loose and broke several knife manner rules.

Directions:
1.Wrap up a giant chocolate bar in several layers of paper.
2. Freeze it.
3. When the candy bar is good and frozen, gather everyone in a circle with the candy bar, 2 knives, and 2 dice.
4. Roll the dice.  If you roll doubles you get to hack at the paper-- trying to get to the chocolate. The catch is that you can ONLY use your knives.  When you get to the chocolate, you have to bring it up to your mouth with the knives. (This is the fun part.) No fingers allowed.
5. If you don't get doubles, pass the dice to your right.
6. The next person rolls the dice and so forth.  When someone else gets doubles, she takes the knives- immediately- from whomever has them. (Nothing is more satisfying than stealing knives from someone just as he is about to take a bite of the chocolate.)
7. Keep the dice going around the circle until the chocolate bar is eaten.
8. You can increase the difficulty level, if you are playing with older kids, by having them put on gloves, a scarf and a hat before they get to start hacking away.  It just slows them down a bit and makes them a bit more clumsy.

Have fun and be careful!

Table Manners Review

Why: So far we have covered 11 table manners, so I thought it was time for a review.  This was a chance to practice all the manners together and have some accountability.

Attention Getter:  I set a police badge (that I got at a local party supply store) and a buzzer (don't ask; I've had it for years) on dad's plate.  The kids hovered around dad's plate before dinner. I love when I pique their interest.

The supplies

When we were all seated, I introduced the "Politeness Police".  Now the purpose of the "Politeness Police" was to monitor the family's manners in a playful way.   The designated Police would wear the badge and buzz the buzzer when he caught someone using bad  manners.

Some nights we decided that the "Politeness Police" could catch people using good manners.  Although this method is way more warm and fuzzy, our family voted to stick with the old school method (since when does a cop pull you over for going the speed limit afterall?) You can take whichever approach you want with your family.

Manner: We had to set some ground rules right up front: Moms and dads can lovingly point out manner mistakes any day, any time.  That is our job and our responsibility.   But kids can only point out manner mistakes if they are designated as the "Politeness Police" by a parent because it is actually bad manners to point out someone else's bad manners. 

Practice: Dad was the first Police to model how it was to be done.  He buzzed away and corrected the children.  I felt like it was a great teaching time because often we don't even know when we are using bad manners.  My son took great pride in not getting buzzed, while my 4 year old daughter purposely tried to screw up so she could get caught (let's just say I'm nervous for her teenage years.) Over the week each kid got to take a turn as the "Politeness Police".  Eyes were alert. Revenge was sought.  No mercy was shown (the baby even got buzzed for using his fingers.)

The evidence

But in the end, we all were more aware of our manners.

#11 Using Your Fork

Manner #11: How to Use Your Fork Correctly or Use Your Fork Not Your Fingers!

Attention Getter:  I set the table with a pencil in the fork place.  As you would expect, the kids noticed the missing forks and the out-of-place pencils right away and wondered what it would have to do with manners. Well, I'll tell you....

Manner:  How you use your fork depends on where you live.  In America, you are to hold your fork like you hold a pencil except your hand is about 2/3 up the shank rather than being close to the point like a pencil.  (Now this implies that you are actually using a fork and not your fingers.) The tines (pokey things) of the fork point up, and you use the fork like a scoop rather than poking and stabbing at your food.  Next, I was surprised to learn that you use your fork to eat almost everything including rice, corn, peas, cake, mashed potatoes, etc. ( I was guilty of using my spoon too much.)  And what if you can't get those pesky peas to stay on your fork?  I read in a few places that you aren't supposed to use your knife to help you. So I am not sure what to tell you other than a knife, in my opinion, is better than your fingers.  So do what you gotta do. Plus using your knife is how it's done in Europe.  The fork can also be used to cut foods like pancakes, lasagna, softer meats, etc. Lastly, if you want to set your fork down in between bites, set it ON your plate on the left side not on the table.  We wouldn't want to soil the tablecloth.

This hold is a little too far down on the shank of the fork. But the stars aligned, and my model had clean fingernails AND no marker stains on his hands, so we're sticking with this picture.

Why:  When you hold your fork correctly, it naturally brings your elbows down and keeps them by your sides rather in your neighbor's space.  I had my kids hold it like an icepick and we saw what that grip did to our elbows. And  just like you can write neater and with more control if you hold a pencil the right way, so it is with eating.  You will make less of a mess, have more dexterity and control and look more dignified if you hold your fork correctly.

Practice:  At the beginning of each meal we held our forks like a pencil and I checked everyone out to make sure that we were at least starting the meal off right.   I served tricky foods throughout the week like rice, corn, and homemade macaroni to stretch their skills.  We also did some fork cutting practice with enchiladas and waffles.  We have waffles most Wednesdays (because I'm a nerd like that) and someday everyone is going to be able to cut their own waffle.  (This is as big as I dream right now.)

Extension:  We don't eat with our fingers, but at least we can paint with them! We rolled out some butcher paper in the garage, got some washable finger paints and made a mess....with our fingers.

Finger Painting

Love Notes

Change of plans.  I was going to post a table manner this week, but then I saw a cute idea on my friend's blog that I wanted to share in advance of Valentine's Day.  She set up a post office station and had her family write notes to each other throughout the month of February.

I love this idea because it gives our children the opportunity to practice showing love and appreciation and giving sincere, truthful compliments. And that is good manners.

I introduced the idea to my kids and told them we could write a sincere compliment, a favorite memory, words of encouragement, something they noticed, draw a picture, etc. to family members and then drop it in their "mailbox". 

For mail boxes, I just wanted to use what I had on hand so I opted to use paper sacks.  We each got to decorate our own mailbox with foam stickers and markers.  (I  resisted the strong desire to leave my kids out of the process and just do it a cute way all by myself.  Some of you might be able to appreciate how difficult this was for me.)

I hung the bags with twine and clothespins that I covered with glitter scrapbook paper (okay so maybe just a little cute.)  I thought this was a great idea....then my baby woke up from his nap.  The first thing he did was swipe at a bag.  So I will probably be moving it up a little higher but still within reach of my other kids.

I put index cards and various pens (Valentine colors of course) in a pail.  Then I tied a few remnant ribbons on the handle of a pail to pretty it up (I couldn't stop myself).

We just got started, but on day one they prolonged bedtime by 20 minutes as they wrote everyone a note.  Needless to say, they are excited. Our plan is to read them each morning over breakfast (and then practice saying thank you too.)  I snuck a peek in one bag and read "You are the best sister. You mack me laff" from my kindergartener.  The note made me smile and "laff".  I hope your family will enjoy the love notes and the good manners this week.